I spent so many years being a home maker, where you tend not to see your efforts as valuable unfortunately. We tend to minimize our role as parents, housekeepers and caretakers. It seems as if what we do is not indispensable, usually expecting more of ourselves than we can give. The authority of being your own boss at home, often makes you feel like most times you are behind and you feel like catching up is merely impossible. We tend to keep stretching ourselves more thin as time goes on, it is in our own hands to make our role more fulfilling and rewarding.
You sit down to relax and all you think about is what needs to be improved in the house, or redecorated, the list of to/do’s only grows longer. Causing more stress and adding to your expectations, leaving you restless mentally. It is self destructive, in the long run because it causes you to believe that what you do, does not add value to peoples lives. That what you do is not enough, and that you will never reach satisfaction with your labor.
It feels like a trap, you don’t value your own efforts and you are also not satisfied with your results at any moment in time. It feels like can be our worst nightmare!!! We can be the worst boss ever!!! Instead of spotting everything that needs more work, needs to be replaced or fixed, take a moment to reflect on all the project in the home you have finished. Analyze all the things you have added to the home to make it more comfortable or to feel like home. Ponder on all the things you had daydreamed about improving in your home and you have already accomplished. It is crucial to sit back and reflect on all the progress your have already made, in order to feel your efforts do add up and bring value to your home. After doing this, think of how you picture your progress going, to keep you motivated and excited about the future. Ask yourself, how do I picture my home in one year?
I did not notice what a horrible boss I had been to myself all this years at all, I had become so used to It. That it had become the norm to me. Until, recently that I worked after 5 years of raising my kids, and had a boss again. Then I realized, why am I so hard on myself at home!!! I walk two steps backwards and see that even though it may seem small the contribution I do at work, it builds up to a lot in the long run.
I started to feel as if I am essential to the workplace, in the sense that my grain of sand adds up with time and also with the contribution of a lot of people working as a team towards a common goal. So now, I feel basically addicted to working just for the feeling it provides, of purpose, value and unity.
It is such a strange statement, just because that was the last thing I thought working would make me feel, I guess I thought I would have a hard time adjusting back to the workforce to be honest. I thought I would dislike it and have a hard time settling in to that routine.
It is understandable that we lose track of how important our role is in the home, as there is no constant reminder of it. We do not clock in to a machine every morning that we wake up, to remind us that we just started our day of work. There is no urgent reminder to take a break, and track it. There is also no where to clock out from our duties at night as we go to sleep. We work on everything in the home 24/7, and there is no distinguishing when we can take time for ourselves. If we don’t consciously take a chunk from the day for ourselves we can lose ourselves in the daily tasks. It becomes a blurry line, between working in the house and taking breaks for ourselves to relax or do something we personally enjoy or a project we would like to tackle.
Value our own work
The difference between working for someone else and from working for myself at home is helping me become a better version of being a self-boss. I am starting to see for example my blogging and website self regulated job as essential, valuable and important. Where as before I felt, my writing was probably just to keep me engaged in something I liked. At this moment and time my view is changing to think, people need to hear what I have to say, people value what I have to share and it is important that I write.
It is unexpected, how life takes you to a journey to be able to value something you already had but did not have the right mindset to make it succeed. We do not have to wait to work in a job outside the house, to change our mindset. It is crucial for our satisfaction in our daily labor to view it in a way that helps us see the value of what we do. The hours we invest in the home are not rewarded with hourly pay, yet they are crucial for a well functioning home. It is important to remember that even though we don’t have a weekly monetary reward for our efforts, in the long run what we put in is going to be evident.
No one is thanking you right now, thank you for doing all you do. Yet, it is your own duty to reflect on the benefits your input brings. Thanks to your efforts, your children have been well cared for and developed. Thanks to you the house has been kept running properly and maintained. Thanks to you your family has been kept feed and healthy. Thanks to you your husband can rest from work and have less house hold duties to overwhelm him with.
Maintaining our own identity as an individual and not blur the line between ourselves and our daily roles is paramount. The reason for this is to be able to keep our lives feeling enjoyable and not too seriously. If we can keep time for ourselves we can free ourselves from all our roles, let loose just enjoy life. This is something we should be used to doing, if we do this we have a lighter spirit and like the person we are. If we are fun, we will like ourselves and want to be in our shoes daily. We will enjoy living the way we do, because we make time to have fun. Being the best version of ourselves, helps us be playful and enjoyable to be around.
The only reason we feel guilty to be away from our family and have fun is because we are not used to it. Perhaps we may even secretly think we don’t deserve to have fun. That can not be further from the truth, we are human. All humans need a break from their roles, it is a necessity not a luxury. For that reason, take breaks and make it part of your routine. You will learn to feel guilt free as you detach yourself from your monotony. Go out there, it is okay to enjoy yourself, give yourself permission!
Written by Adilene