There are two kinds of relationships and each serves a specific purpose to why your having it in your life. The two kinds I have experienced are the kind that that inspires your life and the one that teaches you self-love. There is a distinct difference between both.

The inspirational relationship feels like you are able to be your complete self and feel liberated even within the relationship. Many people describe this relationship as feeling they are with their Twin Flame or true love. The feeling is so right and nothing about it makes you feel uneasy.

The relationship that teaches self-love feels right only when they provide something you think you can not give yourself. It is described by most as a Karmic connection, a toxic, codependent, abusive, controlling relationship. This type feels right only for very short periods of time and the rest of the time feels like you would very much like to escape the relationship as soon as possible.

I will not explain in more detail how the relationships function and details to distinguish them apart.

Inspiring relationships


Most people experience the inspirational type of relationship early in life. This kind in many occasions meet early in life, yet once they are both aware of how this connection goes above the physical attraction, one person feels at home and the other runs. The one who feels at home, can become overly dependent on the relationship for guidance and need to grow into a more self-assured and self loving person before encountering another inspirational relationship.

The first inspirational relationship serves as a guide to distinguish this type of relationships in the future. All you have to know is that if you desire to have this an inspirational relationship in your life, you have to replay in your mind how these relationships make you feel. Practicing the feeling in your mind, prepares you for becoming open to the idea and leaving behind any resistance to this desire. When you practice it long enough, and you feel ready to start a relationship of this kind. Then someone who is desiring the same thing and is also ready will indeed be attracted into your life! It is pure bliss from there.

The challenges to endure

The signs of an inspiring relationship is the one that feels like they are just meant to be together and don’t know why. Your true love will bring out in you who you really are inside, this means that if you are not happy with something about yourself they will be a constant reminder of that. They have the ability to see right through you, and this may rise insecurities that were hidden. It can make you feel that you are not good enough, if you have not developed a good relationship with yourself. The feeling of not being good enough will not leave you, that means you are not ready to navigate such intense bond. There is still room for you to grow, it is very likely you part ways due to this.

Only when they have almost reached their self growth to a full bloom do they start calling for each other. Feeling an intense pull from with in that they can not ignore. Seeking their true love, learn that in their hearts they have been waiting for each other all along. Then part ways because the roles have switched, the one who ran is now ready and the other is now just coming out of a toxic relationship. They are both aware that neither is going to go anywhere, they will wait for each other until both are in the same page. While waiting, they grow with intent and purpose. Knowing that at the end of their finish line they are reuniting to stay together this time.

The signs that set them apart

The signs of this relationship, is feeling you are in tune with each other. It feels as if you have meet a long time ago and without learning about each other in depth you can already feel what the other person is thinking and feeling. Making you feel you trust them and let your guard down completely which may seem scary at first. You will be able to sense when they are thinking of you and if they want you to contact them. You can feel that your connection is so intense like a magnet that it leaves no room for insecurity. It makes you feel as if they left, it would only help them find contrast and come right back to you.

At first, when you start making contact with your true love, they will cause major changes in the way your life functions in general. All of a sudden flowers and beautiful things seem to have an exaggerated natural beauty to you. You will smile and laugh for the things you took for granted. You will pass by the card section in a store that you just ignored before and feel the love cards apply to how you feel in this moment. The songs playing everywhere you go will bring out in you memories of that person. There will be a new urge to sing along to any song, and just lose yourself in the music. You will feel that looking into their eyes even in a picture, draw you closer. The emotions for them will start to awaken strongly as if you knew them for many years and they had invested a lot of time in you. Just hearing their voice for a few minutes is enough to make you feel your whole day will be just amazing.

The relationship will not be based on conflict, in will be based on the shared connection. This connection that they can not have with someone else. Remaining true to themselves and let the other person be themselves without the need to control them. Learning about the other persons interest, only because they care and with no fabricated motives in mind. A natural inclination will come over them to appreciate their extended family and make genuine efforts to get to know them better.


Relationships that teach you self-love

These relationships are purely based on physical attraction and an emotion that they create temporarily. The person fills the neglect we give ourselves when we have not developed a relationship with ourselves. The relationship feels right only when the other person gives us something we need from ourselves. It could be, just attention, affection, nice words, or another type of need. If the person stops providing what we need, then the relationship seems to have no purpose for us. Basically it is kept for selfish reasons, we are just using them to create something we have not mastered yet. When we develop the ability to care for how we feel above the interest of others, the relationship seems like its tying us down and keeping us from our own happiness.

There can be an inner war inside ourselves that keep us in this type of relationships, even though they just don’t feel right. It is that the bond is based on something we depend on, it brings us to need from them and come back over and over. The relationship will have an abusive cycle, there will be just pure conflict mostly. The relationship will take an absorbing amount of energy just to keep it above water. It will be consuming and just exhausting. The reason for this is that to keep it alive it depends purely on words and actions. There is no natural connection drawing you together like magnets. The insecurity that someone can come along offering a connection that will snatch your lover away, will be worrisome.

The challenges to endure

Conflict in this relationship will break you and shake you to your core, then you will pick your pieces together and be a stronger version of yourself because of it. A stronger version of yourself will slowly grow into learning how to appreciate yourself. This new-found appreciation will allow you to take no more abuse from the relationship. It will teach you to not accept abuse as something that you deserve. Once this appreciation for self blooms, you will spend more and more time alone. To allow your inner being to develop and you will have a relationship with yourself that makes you feel secure and stable. This new relationship with yourself will bring you to trust your inner guidance and gut feeling. Developed this, you will not be easily swayed or influenced by the person trying to abuse or manipulate you. They will notice this and put all force to trick you into self-doubt, if you fall you will know how to get up again. Until your inner roots become so strong that they will not be able to touch you, they will have no impact in your behavior what so ever.

The signs that set them apart

The false soulmate signs to look out for, is feeling of being torn between yourself and them. The constant pull and push, and power struggle. The craving to fill a void will be what links you together and will see the other person as the solution to the worst fears in life. You will have the need to want to know what they are thinking at all times and not know. The connection will start on physical attraction but will be fueled by insecurity. The insecurity will make it become a controlling relationship for both. A strong sense of losing the other person will be a dominating thought for them since there is no sustainable connecting to keep them grounded. An overall feeling of the relationship will feel uneasy, unsure, and will cause them to always second guess what they are feeling and thinking.

First meeting, will feel like you can’t get enough of each other. Then as soon as they feel you are very comfortable, they will slowly try to modify everything in your life. They will have an image of your potential and what they envision you to become. They will try to basically force you to become what they want you to be, and not care about appreciating who you are. You will feel like a trophy they keep just to show off. In this stage of the relationship, they lose interest in getting to know you, or learn what are your interests. They will string you along as long as you let them. Offering none of the initial attention or need they fulfilled in the beginning. This will make you feel trapped, feeling you are only staying out of either pity, loyalty or financial reasons. Overcoming all things that keep holding you back, will feel liberating.

The social aspect of your life you once knew will end in a halt. They will have no interest in establishing a relationship with either your friends or family. In fact, they will push them away, in fear that they can influence you to leave them. Also, they will avoid any interaction with them because they do not want to share you. They develop feelings of jealousy towards anybody you invest time with, because they want all your time to be spent exclusively with them alone.  Any gesture you do towards others, they will nag and ask why it was not done towards them instead. You will start feeling suffocated and do what they demand just to keep the peace and avoid another sticky situation.


My take on both types of relationships


I think that you can celebrate having the right love in your life. If you are still trying to find yourself and feel stuck in an unwanted relationship. I have news for you, it is temporary! Focus on your personal growth and the rest will fall in its place. If you keep falling back into toxic relationships, you are still learning lessons that will help you get out. Just be patient with yourself and give it time. Just never, ever lose hope of a better future. It is possible!

I have questions for you to consider after reading. Please share them below in a comment to help others gain new perspectives or relate to your experience.


My 3 Questions for you:

  1. What are some lessons you learn from a relationship that teaches self-love?
  2. Have you been able to experience an inspirational relationship?
  3. What actions are you taking to be able to attract an inspirational relationship? (If applicable to you)

Thank you for your input.


Written by Adilene


  • Stephanie

    I have always had this mantra that I made for myself, which is that if I can’t emotionally connect with someone then it’s not something worth getting into. Physical attraction is sometimes what keeps people in a relationship – among some other toxic traits – but what happens when you emotionally connect with someone? That is a whole different type of love and respect. That doesn’t only apply for romantic relationships but for friendships as well. 

    • Adilene

      Hi Stephanie, 

      Thank you for sharing your perspective on this topic. I also share your views on being emotionally connected, not just physically. It is a very magical experience to connect on all levels. Thank you for your input. 

  • David nelson

    I must say that you have done a very nice and interesting job on this article.Mother nature gives us a big dose of infatuation in order to get us together initially.  Love does include sexual chemistry but it differs because it is an emotion that takes time to build.  Lust can appear in an instant; love evolves over a period of time as you get to know the other person inside and out.

    I must say a big thanks because currently in this generation most of us now don’t really know the value of love relationships as some of us don’t even know how it feels our how it works,but this well detailed article would help us in correcting this fact.

    • Adilene

      Hi David,

      I am really glad this article was helpful! Glad to have your input. Thank you for leaving a comment.

  • Creators Hub

    Dear Adiline, i appreciate the two classifications you have given to relationships; inspirational relationships and relationships that teach us self love. It indicates that every relationship has lessons we can learn from and improve ourselves. It resonates with me when you speak about the inspirational relationship and how it feels like you have known for ages even if you just met for a short time. It also amazes me how the connection could be so sensitive in an inspirational relationship that often times you know when the other person is thinking about you. Everything about an inspirational relationship seems so magical that joy radiates every time you get a message from each other. Sometimes you may not be able to explain the feelings but somewhere deep down you crave to know the true purpose. Please can you share the true meaning of a soulmate? and how folks can identify their soulmate if they meet them?

    • Adilene

      Hi Bon,

      It is a true delight to hear from you in this post. Thank you for being so encouraging by letting me know how much you appreciate my take on this topic. I would love to answer you question about soulmates, I will make sure to write a post specifically about soulmates. I will include the link and title in this comment when it is ready for viewers. Thank you so much for stopping by.

  • Geri

    Love relationships are the most interesting because they take you on the wildest journeys ever imagined. Karmic relationships can be useful in that it teaches us what not to look for in other relationships. At the same time and if toxic and abusive, they can really impair the spirit and cause people not to trust in others. Now, inspiring relationships are beautiful in every way and should always be appreciated. If not, then these relationships could also be subject to becoming a Karmic relationship rather quickly.

    You must first learn to love yourself before you teach others how to love you…

    • Adilene

      Hi Geri,

      I love the way you expressed yourself about this topic. It is all resonating with me in a unique way. Specially what you mentioned about inspirational relationships. It is true, that it is crucial to remain appreciative of this type of beautiful relationship. In order to be able to do that, you do have to love yourself. If you have not mastered self-love, it is very likely the beautiful connection will be short-lived. However, once you part ways it is for the purpose of growth to reunite even stronger. There is always hope in an inspirational relationship to rekindle the spark.

  • Jeff

    I really enjoyed your article on love relationships, you know I learned from my past marriage you can not make another person happy until they love themself. So my marriage ended by my ex abandoning me and my three sons to search for self-love, but the last I heard she was still searching how to love herself.

    Any tips for people who are struggling to love themselves,


    • Adilene


      Thank you dearly for sharing your personal story with us. It is true that we are not capable of compensating for someone else lack of self-love. It is very unfortunately that you and your children experienced something so devastating. I believe sometimes people’s cup of love is so empty they feel that have nothing to offer to others. It is necessary to learn selfishness to love thyself and be able to then give to others. I do have tips for self-love in my post called “new year resolution” under the self-care category.

      Thank you for visiting and sharing your story.


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