I used to live based on the fear of how people viewed me and edited my actions accordingly. It was a very unstable way to live since peoples opinions change constantly and it was hard to keep them happy. When I learned lessons that taught me that self-love, was the only thing that could keep me stable I started reading books that would help me grow in that area.
I have taken one of the quote that inspired me to leave fear behind from a book I read called Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard. In this post I will explore a quote from the book that I found fundamental and explain how the book applies the idea and the stand I take on the topic of saying bye to fear.
This writer is very straight to the point and his words force you to acknowledge your fears, instead of telling yourself they don’t exist.
We are too often lost in the abyss of unawareness
The type of unawareness he refers to here is the one where you walk around all day without analyzing your thoughts. Meaning you let your mind run on autopilot all day without giving it direction and guidance. That means that is spends all day reacting to anything that happens and is distracted and redirected depending on what is around.
In my perspective, your mind is only a tool to get you where you want in life. That means that you can program it, clear its old content and put new in. Also, it can be a tool to give you the ideas you need for any project you set forth.
By reprogramming I mean, that your mind is running on old beliefs and rules that you were thought as you grew up. The question then becomes, how to change limiting beliefs? and make your subconscious mind work for you. Teaching you that something is not possible your mind will not give you a solution to access that impossible thing. Not on the basis that it is not possible in reality, but based on the beliefs that you were taught.
I recall clearly being exposed to this concept when I was in a philosophy class. It was a task to answer in an essay, what we believe. Then they asked why we believe the things we believe. The conclusion is, we believe what we were taught. What if we recognize that we are in control of what we believe and can change the beliefs to make our mind powerful. In the sense, that it will be reset to intentionally help us reach our success. Instead of constantly working against the intentions we set out for ourselves.
We are not obligated to keep believing what we were taught at a young age if we feel it does not serve us. We are truly in control here, we have the liberty to pick what we believe. That is something that at age 18 seems almost to overwhelming to even consider.
How can I betray my parents belief system? It is really hard to take the chains of belief off. The reason is, because of loyalty. I thought that if I changed to something my parents did not approve that I would lose their approval or love. That was a scary thing to think, feel basically alone in this world for standing up for myself was something I was not ready for yet.
When you live lessons that teach you self-love and selfishness, then you understand you are suppose to stand alone in order to reach your personal sweet spot in the way you feel about life. You have to explore what makes you feel good, including what things you want to think and believe. If believing something that is unpopular makes you happy, so be it. Your happiness is on the line, truly the only thing that matters. What good does it serve you to be surrounded by people if you are in agony inside.
This journey is one to take alone, in the sense that you will probably find that the beliefs that make you happy will differ greatly from the family you grew up with. That does not mean you will be alone in reality only alone in regard to beliefs. The people you grew up with may not be open to your new belief system, they will still love you but not support you.
That is nothing to worry about, you will find like-minded folks who will connect with you and share the same beliefs but in their own way of paraphrasing things. The only thing that I found helpful was to not share my new beliefs with my family in a way that was out of their level of understanding or that seemed to out of their belief system. I usually explain my beliefs in a very simple language to understand and through examples that they can grasp. Yet, if there are concepts they are fiercely against, I just don’t share them at all. Just saves you all the drama, that they create when they stumble upon something hey don’t understand.
If they don’t understand it, they want to convince you that you should not guide yourself by that concept. They are usually very scared of the unknown or unfamiliar. Their opinion should not deter you or change your views, but it would be nice to not have their pressure to stop what your doing. The fact that I do not take the time to share it with those who I feel will be strongly against it, does not mean I don’t share what I believe at all. I share it, wide an open, in my website. Only people who are interested in similar beliefs as I do will be interested in exploring my ideas. Also, those adventurous who are willing to consider new ideas.
Written by Adilene